


little touch

by 4_Jwj



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 13:03:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20693984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4_Jwj/pseuds/4_Jwj
Summary: youngkyun has a tendency to touch seokwoo when he's bored. seokwoo doesn't mind.





	little touch

he doesn’t think youngkyun even realizes he’s doing it, most of the time. his hands find seokwoo naturally; his hips, his arms, his thighs. tracing featherlight patterns on his skin, over his clothes. it doesn’t seem to matter whether they’re in public or alone, youngkyun’s fingers slide over seokwoo’s body easily, like it belongs to him. 

it does. seokwoo lets those touches ground him, keep all his thoughts in his head, on the moment. on the feeling of being held. most of the time it’s enough, more than that. more than seokwoo could ever hope to, should ever ask for. most of the time he lets those touches mean more than they should, feel heavier than they are. 

sometimes it’s not enough. those times, seokwoo forgets. how far he’s come, the person he’s worked tirelessly to be. the fears he thought he’d overcome. his thoughts, doubts, uncertainty blow up inside his head like so many balloons until he feels - 

light. detached. like he’ll float right up off the ground and stay there, in the air with his balloons full of flaws. 

those times, seokwoo needs more. needs to feel the solidity of youngkyun’s back against his chest, their arms and legs pressed together in a hundred little points of contact that remind seokwoo he’s here, present. youngkyun lets him, wraps his smaller hands around his arms where they’re wound around his neck. he doesn’t realize he’s doing it, maybe. anchoring seokwoo like he always does. it means something, anyway. something that weighs seokwoo down in the best way, covers him in warmth. 

seokwoo kisses him first, by accident. it’s meant to be a kiss like all the others, on the top of his head, his neck, his cheek. youngkyun hears him call out, turns to see him and seokwoo’s lips land on the corner of his mouth. it’s simple. it shouldn’t make him feel - 

so much. except it doesn’t make him feel more than all the others, and maybe that’s when everything falls into place. seokwoo has loved youngkyun for a long time, probably, but he only realizes it when his lips brush his, barely, and it’s not enough.

it’s a long time before seokwoo kisses youngkyun again, properly. he wants it enough it’s almost physical, the need to be closer to him, feel more of him then he’s ever been able to. the confident, easy touches youngkyun gives him makes it better, a little, and so, so much worse.

seokwoo doesn’t expect anyone home when he gets back, but youngkyun is still dressed, laying on the couch, head thrown back on the armrest so he can look at seokwoo, sort of. his hair falls away from his face, leaving his eyes, brows exposed. he says something seokwoo misses, just looking at him. 

“have you eaten?” seokwoo shakes his head before realizing youngkyun probably can’t see him at this angle, half inside the closet. 

“no. have you?” his voice is muffled by coats, but it doesn’t matter. when he pulls his head out of the closet, youngkyun is standing beside him, reaching in to pull out the jacket he just put away. seokwoo takes it from him, waits for him to take out his own jacket, explain. youngkyun is smiling, waving seokwoo towards the door as he slips on the jacket, bends down to find a pair of shoes that belong to him. seokwoo gets dressed again, slowly, watching youngkyun. the jacket he picked isn’t actually a jacket, and it isn’t his. it’s one of seokwoo’s hoodies. 

was one of seokwoo’s hoodies. youngkyun has been wearing it for a while now, seokwoo doesn’t mind. it suits him. seokwoo’s clothes - 

“lets go.” youngkyun is pushing him towards the door, a light pressure on his back, arms. seokwoo goes, closes the door behind them. follows youngkyun. 

youngkyun asks him about filming, tells him about an idea he has for a song, and another one. their arms, shoulders brush as they walk. seokwoo is maybe too aware of where they’re touching, where they’re not. he trips once, twice, wraps his arm around youngkyun’s shoulder, for balance. youngkyun’s voice is soothing, anytime, but now, after hearing himself talk all day, it’s - 

beautiful. hypnotizing. youngkyun stops in front of a tent and seokwoo comes to an awkward, jilting stop, almost taking youngkyun forward with him. inside, they order soup, side dishes, soju. too much food for two people, this late at night. neither of them cares. they take their time eating, talking, drinking. youngkyun plays with his fingers on the table, slips his own under seokwoo’s sleeve. it’s only a little distracting from youngkyun’s smile, his voice, their legs knocking together under the table. 

they end up sitting on the same side of the table, watching some video on youngkyun’s phone. on the small bench, youngkyun is half in his lap, one leg thrown over his, shoulders pressed into his side. one of his hands holding the phone, the other resting on seokwoo’s thigh. seokwoo’s arm around his shoulder keeps him from falling off, barely. their laughter shakes the plastic bench. seokwoo is dimly worried it might break. youngkyun hits his thigh when he laughs, and seokwoo reaches out to cover his hand with his own, eyes still on the video. 

the proprietor comes to take their food, then to shoo them away. seokwoo pays for their meal, thanks her, turns to - 

he’s not sure. take youngkyun’s hand, maybe. he hesitates, puts his hand in his pocket. takes it out and grabs youngkyun’s wrist, wraps his hand in his when they leave the tent. because it’s gotten colder. 

the walk back is mostly quiet, broken up by lingering giggles, whispered comments about the food. youngkyun’s hand stays in his. inside, seokwoo lets go of youngkyun’s hand to slip the hoodie off his shoulders. youngkyun’s hands mirror his, tugging down the zipper on his jacket, pushing it back. it’s - intimate, almost painfully so. seokwoo wishes his hands would stop trembling, move faster. is grateful when they don’t. he stumbles a little, getting out of his shoes, and youngkyun’s hands are there, on his hips, to steady him. turn him around. 

in the dark, it’s difficult to make out his features from even their small distance. youngkyun’s hands on his waist guide him, pull him closer. the touch is light but seokwoo is so, so aware of youngkyun’s fingers, hands, his hair as he leans down to hear him speak. he has to bend over, slightly, to rest his forehead against youngkyun, but it’s an unconscious movement at this point. 

this close, he can barely trace the shape of youngkyun’s nose, but he can see his eyes. 

“goodnight.” seokwoo repeats it back to him. at this distance he has to go a bit cross-eyed to look him in the eyes, and youngkyun laughs at him, looks just as ridiculous as he does, probably. 

seokwoo wants to kiss him, can’t. hearing him laugh, feeling it against his lips has to be enough. 

it both is and isn’t. youngkyun lets him go, fingers lingering on his hips, thighs. seokwoo thinks about that faint warmth as he gets ready, before he falls asleep. 

youngkyun kisses him second, on purpose. it’s not - 

they’re not doing anything special. seokwoo doesn’t know what he does that makes youngkyun do it. if he’s been wanting this for some, all of the time seokwoo has been wanting it, needing it. youngkyun kisses him, softly but not hesitantly, like he knows seokwoo will kiss him back. 

he does. before that, though, he brings his hand up to cup youngkyun’s cheek, thumb pressing against his skin, lips. looks at him, because he needs to be sure. because he almost doesn’t believe it, can’t believe it after months of telling himself this was one thing he couldn’t have. shouldn’t want to have. youngkyun looks back at him, meets his eyes, and seokwoo thinks he sees - 

he stops thinking, then. moves his hand to the back of youngkyun’s neck. kisses him properly, almost afraid it’s too much except for the reassurance in youngkyun’s hands, pressing them closer together. this time, his fingers dig into seokwoo’s back and it’s both enough and nowhere near that. this time, seokwoo knows it will never be enough, that he’ll always want more of youngkyun, always want to be closer. this time, seokwoo knows youngkyun will let him. let him reach out, try to find that space where they’re even closer, even more together then they are right now.

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by that video from kcon japan where they're playing the game and hy is messing w rw before their turn bc its !! adorable !! ik this is pretty far from that but. anyways


End file.
